One more thing

- Hey you know what ? Hell is hell, no matter if it's a ridiculous, unjustified hell, called by myself on myself and others !! I mean., am I making it that complicated ? It's really too easy. I mean I'm not that bad, I don't deserve this shit. Maybe I'm not making the right choices but I need someone to explain it to me. And not just saying things that make me feel like they just want to treat the effects and not the cause. I mean try and understand, cause it's always coming back. It's not that hard, it's not even hard at all, cause it's just trying for fuck's sake ! Why is it that I always feel like I don't deserve people to stop thinking about themselves for a second ? Seriously, I can do that ! I'm often thinking about me but I can still cut the crap for a second and concentrate on somebody else ! If not, why do the few left still even stick around !? I'm even hardly enjoyable any more. Is it that sad that people just fucked it being able to help others ? Or they just don't think people can be helped ? It would be much easier and more obvious to just think they're too lazy to bother about others' issues, but I even question that now. They sometimes do something that vaguely looks like an attempt to make somebody help feel better. I guess that I'm trying to be positive that way, not to just dig my own hole and hate everybody for their selfishness, and do I understand it all better ? No. So what's left for me to think now, can you tell me ?
- Hey, you could have knocked on the door first.
- ...
- And please don't slam it when you go.